So...what have you done today?

To make you feel proud?

Well, possibly taken your juvenile son out of school for a couple of days so that he can attend a family wedding football match in Milan surrounded by drunken bald men. Well if that's not an education, I don't know what is. WAHEY.

Splendid. Of course I have no doubt father and son will be soaking up some culture on their sojourn. After the game, it's all down La Scala following a light supper of the local Lombard cuisine. Or perhaps they'll be indulging in a little high-fashion shopping - nice to own something which isn't made of polyester.

He may not be able to read - but at least he'll have watched Spurs in Europe. He'll probably write it in his memoirs, signed with an X.